Church leaders. Imagine this.
You are with your team. Or maybe your family. Your friends. Some group of people who either work close to you or interact with you on a regular basis. Envision you had to sit in front of them and show them the “Real” you. Not some light version or tailored version censored for daytime TV, but the “Real” you. Nothing held back.
All your passions, your talents, your brokenness, your strengths, your humor, your pain, your interests, your imperfections, your past, your future, your opinions, your doubts, your failures, your dreams, your struggles, your emotions, your wounds, your true self. All real and none hidden. Then the cherry on top… when and what your most recent sin or failure was. Again, real failure.
Are you uncomfortable?
I think the answer is yes.
As I have been in ministry for many years now and worked at several churches in leadership and have identified a problem with many of us in leadership. It’s all over the place in the church and it’s this inability to reveal who we really are to others. For some it’s fear that stops us, for others it’s pride and for some it’s a misunderstood view of God’s grace. We don’t allow ourselves to be truly “seen” by those neighboring us or those who follow us as leaders. We construct walls in the name of leadership, platform and even ministry itself and end up hiding behind a false image of what we want others to perceive.
I believe many church leaders are afraid that if people saw who we really are they wouldn’t follow us, trust us or value us. We feel we just wouldn’t be able to offer any true influence. Our worth becomes wrapped up in being the one with it all together and figured out. The one without struggles and the one without failures, which we also know there was only one leader like this. Maybe we feel unsafe by others to let out who we really are. I believe there is a fear in the church world of being honest and vulnerable and I’m not sure when it started. We strive for something we have labeled “Authentic Leadership”, which sounds so good. Even then we seem to abandon true realness and embrace a fugazi with a nice little bow. Fake Authenticity enters through the door.
Ask yourself this… How often are you vulnerable with your team or staff? Meaning you say something that is easier kept hidden than seen.
Let me ask a few more… How often do you let people see your failures? How often do you let people know what you aren’t good at? How often do you let people into your world? How often do you get into another person’s world? How often do you laugh with your team? How often do you show the things that hurt you openly with your team?
Listen. I’m not an advocate of making everything a “feelings-fest” either. Transparency is a fading value in church ministry and yet it is one of the most valuable qualities of ANY leader, ministry or not.
Once you give up transparency you set yourself free of ever having to be truly honest again. Sadly some leaders even get trapped in secret sin and failure behind this facade and never allow another person to see or help for the sake of losing leadership or losing a platform. Then because there was a lack of honesty and vulnerability things snowball until you have a leader morally fail and fall from incredible heights. Have we created an environment that encourages masks?
The truth is that I am seeing a trend in leadership that seems to value influence over relationship. Once you cross that line you begin masking your “true self” for the sake of mass appeal. You care less about individuals and more about status and so “being honest” would simply cost you too much. The stakes feel too high.
Now let me bring it home… this is a NATURAL part of pretty much every leader. AKA every human being ever, because NO ONE isn’t broken. Sorry for the double negative. We want to grow, we want to help others, we want others to hear us, we want to be influential and we want to be a part of something important and maybe their isn’t anything wrong with that. Our default is like Adam and Eve in the garden, to hide our brokenness. It’s natural and so acknowledging what is there only allows us to meet others who have the same plight. Brokenness and unequivocal need for Jesus.
I do know this.
it’s time to drop the show and let it show. Influence people with who you really are and don’t try to be someone God hasn’t called you to be. You can maybe call it “Authentic Leadership”, but I think it’s more than a fancy phrase that eventually becomes hallow. it’s just time to embrace yourself and embrace honesty, vulnerability and transparency and see how God uses you despite you.
Children Of Pursuit 